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Our air traffic controller is a seagull

He accepted the job for bread. He is excellent.

Sardine Aerospace · · 1 min read

Recruitment for Range Safety Officer was going badly until Gerald arrived.

Gerald is a herring gull with nine thousand unassisted landings and a working knowledge of every thermal in the bay. He accepted the position for bread, payable weekly, in advance.

Performance review

  • Departures cleared this quarter: 61.
  • Birds warned off the pad: 340, plus one drone he still refuses to discuss.
  • Bread consumed: within budget, barely.

Gerald's only incident report reads saw chips, investigated. The board accepted this, as chips were indeed present.

His contract renews automatically at dawn, when he lands on the flame deflector and screams once, which legal has confirmed counts as a signature.