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tin-opener-incident-report published

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At 09:14 on a Tuesday, an intern brought a tin opener into mission control.

Nothing happened. That is the point of a near-miss report: writing down the nothing, in detail, before it becomes a something.

Timeline

  • 09:14 — the opener enters the building, in a lunchbox, labelled for beans.
  • 09:15 — four hundred crew members feel a chill, simultaneously.
  • 09:16 — the Commander, without blinking, quarantines the beans.
  • 09:30 — the opener leaves the premises under escort.

Corrective actions

Openers are now stored with the fireworks, behind two locks and a very stern poster. The beans were released without charge.

The intern is fine, and has been promoted to Head of Hazard Identification, effective immediately, because honestly, nobody else spotted it.

Translations

LanguageStateTitle
PT-PT complete Relatório de incidente: o abre-latas Edit translation
ES complete Informe de incidente: el abrelatas Edit translation
FR complete Rapport d'incident : l'ouvre-boîte Edit translation
DE complete Vorfallbericht: der Dosenöffner Edit translation